March couldn't come soon enough last year. We had found an incredible place to get Gabe evaluated. They had a team of qualified specialists. A TEAM!!!! GoooooooOOOOOOOOOO TEAM! Each of the four spent one hour each evaluating him. That's four hours total over the span of a couple weeks! Then, they spent an additional hour comparing notes about Gabe and their findings. I felt like I had found a place where I could be led in the right direction. I felt safe there. Here was a place where I didn't feel like I was spiraling out of control with no way to help my son. I would not only get the answers I needed, but they had resources and opportunities to help Gabe. What is even more amazing, is that after their evaluation, I could continue getting support through their program that focused on parent teaching of ABA with one on one training with you and your child. WOW. They were not going to hand me a huge and costly report, shake my hand and show me the door. There was continuity. There was hope. I was ready to do whatever it took to get Gabe the help he needed. I could go on and on about this program. Hell, I wish I could live there. My whole family. Gabe's therapists are like family to me. Oh, I am about to cry. So.....alright..let's move on.
The ADOS. This was the first of the four tests that Gabe would be given through the evaluation process. The ADOS is a standard test that is used in diagnosing Autism and other PDD disorders. Gabe was 2 months shy of 2 years old (22 months). We sat in a 8x8 room that had a table. SD and I sat in two chairs on one side of the room and the Autism Specialist began in a chair on the adjacent wall. She had all kinds of fun things to engage Gabe; bubbles, toy frogs, cars, and some cookies in a canister. All these miscellaneous items would soon reveal quite a bit about our son. Sometime during the eval, Gabe took the canister of cookies and tried to figure out how to open it. He wanted those yummy cookies. He kept licking his lips and pulling on that lid with all his might. He never turned to anyone for help. It was as if we weren't even in the room. I had no idea that he really acted as if he was all alone. Couldn't he see me sitting right there? But, he never did and he eventually lost interest in the cookie.
The other thing I remember was the doll and the birthday party. She had taken out a doll and a plastic cake. They were going to "celebrate" the doll's birthday. She started singing "Happy Birthday", while the doll sat next to the cake.
"Let's sing a song Gabe," she cheered.
Gabe was the least interested in this activity. He wanted nothing to do with the doll and wondered where the bubbles had gone. He engaged really well with the bubbles.
"Bubbles. Bubbles. Bubbles" he repeated.
My heart sank and I wondered if Gabe ever knew I was there at all.That I would do anything for him, even if he never asked.
We did have two signs of hope from Gabe in that hour. He acknowledged us once while we were there by putting a blanket on his head, taking it off and shouting "Boo!" to us. The other was a beautiful imitation of a frog hopping on the table with the specialist leading. Those two things may seem small, especially to those outside the "Big A", but they gave a glimmer of hope and possibility for Gabe. He could imitate, the foundation for everything I believe, and he could be engaged.
The rest of our journey continued through this program and still does today. I honestly never want to leave. I have a group of people
that care and work very hard with Gabe in helping him to be the best he can be. He loves going there. He gets hugs, kisses, plays, snacks and learns new things everyday. He is the type of person that loves a mental challenge. That's why I think ABA works so well for Gabe. He is in a loving environment, it's consistent, and it's mentally challenging. If mainstreaming wasn't so important, I would try to keep him in this program forever. They are the village I want to help raise my son. I think this is where I am going to end my reflection on our beginnings with Gabe's diagnosis. I originally wanted to document the step by step process, because I remember wanting so bad for someone with experience to lend a hand in showing me what to do and where to start after a diagnosis of Autism. I would've loved a mentor. Now, I look to other blogs of people for advice and strength. I hope that I gave a large enough glimpse for someone who may need a candle lit in the dark.
So, I'm stopping here, because halfway through the three entries I wrote, I became more interested and excited about the here and now. How great Gabe is doing, how strong I have become and how proud I am of my son, myself and my family. I have too much to celebrate to dwell. It's time to move forward.
My advice through all this.....
Trust yourself. If it feels wrong, it probably is.
And....As my fellow coworker once said to me,
"Kristin, You attract more bees with honey than vinegar."
I tell myself this every time I call the insurance company.
