Sunday, October 23, 2005


The Geek Squad at Best Buy was able to save our computer. HOORAY! The pictures are finally in...well some of them. I have hundreds that I have yet to actually put on paper. Enough of my gibberish....Here's to Halloween!

Gabe loves to paint. I started calling him Picasso. He said "paint" the other day when he saw the paint brushes on top of the fridge. It was more like "ain". We put glitter on the top to finish them off. They look awesome. He looks like he is having some serious thoughts on composition and the function that color is going to play in his "piece".

Here's Super Daddy carving his pumpkin using the Master Carver's template. I can't help but laugh at our own sensory issues. SD is about dying inside from having to touch the pumpkin "guts". Doesn't phase me though. Funny. It turned out really cool. We bought a light that changes colors to put inside. Spoooky!

Boo' s pumpkin is sooooooo cute! She had a couple of faces on it, but this is the only one she didn't paint over. She was in an extra silly mood, because the grandparents were over :o)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Is there a world outside the "Big A"? And can I get a drink there?

I feel a little out of sorts (as if you could'nt tell by my last blog.) It's hard to see the look of desperation in the eyes of the wonderful moms and children that are at Gabe's school. Every month a new group of two children leave (3 groups of two are rotated at a time), after 12 weeks of training in ABA, play, motor and group. The parent is trained and is given further support afterwards through two meetings a month. We are all wondering about what kind of "support" if any we will have after we "graduate" from this program. I know I am. Tuition was very, very expensive and for most of us, our only shot. I guess it kind've tipped me over the edge yesterday. Two moms graduated 2 weeks ago that I knew and 2 more are soon to go also. Tomorrow seems so scary to me now. I take nothing for granted anymore. I wish this intensive and whole child learning could continue at least until he is 5 years old. Most intensive the first 5 years of life they say. Gabe is now almost 2 1/2, I have 2 1/2 more years to go. That's good and bad. Maybe we'll luck out again and win the lotto or receive a scholarship. Who knows..... I'm rambling now...

I also am fraught with angst over not having any pictures to post, because they are all on the other computer that is on the cahoots. Thank god for the lap top, atleast I can blog. Nonetheless, being a visual person, I miss the way a picture pulls you into the lives of the people you are reading about. Oh well....hopefully the geek squad at Best Buy can retrieve everything off our hard drive.

Today seems like it was not very eventful. The only thing cool that happened, that isn't about the big "A" or my children, is XM radio's station, The Loft. Very cool this morning. Suzanne Vega (not her hits, but other great goodies), Fleetwood Mack, Hmmmmm, what else? I just know my toe was tapping and I wasn't listening to the Toy Story soundtrack. Gabe seemed Ok with it too. I need a stiff drink or a night on the town, I just read my entry........when was the last time I got out????????

Monday, October 17, 2005

Autism = $$$ = Michigan

So up here in the "great" (cynic chuckle) mitten it has been noted by many sources that Blue Cross Blue Shield (
has one of the worst coverage for Autism in the country. Where insurance leaves off, the school districts turn their backs. You know what is the biggest kick to the throat? The fact that BCBS offers more to other subscribers in other states! I know that states can legislate coverage, but isn't that a little strange that one state stipulates coverage, but another is free to thumb their noses up at their struggling masses? Can I open my mouth and scream discrimination now? If it is proven relevant in other states why should I have to lobby for something that has already proved to be right? The whole system sucks. Here is a prime example, A school district that is a hop, skip and jump from mine was sued for not providing an "appropriate education" for a child that had autism. That family won and now ABA is offered in that district. An aide works exclusively with your child implementing ABA. Now here's the twist, as a parent YOU have to ask for it in you IEP and on top of that NO ONE mentions it as an option. My family does not have the money to hire a lawyer, so Gabe will go without ABA in his district. How can that be fair?

I am so envious of those of you that mention how your "Play Coordinator" comes to work with your child or how ABA is provided in your school district, or maybe that RDI may be implemented as a possible educational tool after meeting with a cool TEAM of professionals. I know in terms of therapy provided we have a long way to go, but count yourselves lucky that you have something to fall back on. After 5 more weeks, it's all me. All of Gabe's education falls on my shoulders.

Let me introduce myself again...My name is Kristin and I am a Play Coordinator, ABA Therapist, Floortime Expert, Motor Coordinator, Occupational Therapist and Speech Therapist. I'm from Michigan and it SUCKS!!!!!!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Why the change...

I've decided to change the name of my Blog for three good reasons ...Here they are...

1) Although, initially, the poem I named my blog after seemed incredibly inspiring at the time, now seems passe and doesn't ring true to where I am currently at in terms of how I view Gabe as a PERSON who happens to also have Autism.

2) My trip with Gabe didn't go to Holland, I awoke from my wine stupor from the night before on a gondola floating through Venice with my beautiful son, who was ALWAYS my beautiful son.

3) Gabe said his first three words together today....Guess what they were....

and off we go!

Tuesday, October 11, 2005


Six months ago I alone discovered that my son held a secret. A secret that would forever change my life. It's strange how it all came together and it still seems to linger and give face in new ways through testing and milestones that slip past our fingers. I lost a beat, a moment in my life when I heard that word, that little secret that tumbled from an acquaintances mouth out into the open air, just drifting. I didn't know at the time how often I would hear that word again and how many more times I would have to say it. I hate that word and it burns in my gut that I have to deal with it, along with the biases that accompany it. What's funny is there are old words that have become new,wonderfully beautiful words that I cherish when applied to my son like "typical", "normal","appropriate". These are words that are tossed and hit around a pediatrics office like Opening Day. To me they are the biggest gift under the Christmas tree, the brand new bike, a great sundae. Those words are the new secret that I share with myself when others say them in passing not knowing how they brightened my day. They are my new fireworks. That is what I heard while she was attaching electrodes to my son's head today for his EEG and I had to lay on him to restrain him. I asked is it always this bad with this age? She replied with,"That's typical." My son is typical.........(smile).

Sunday, October 09, 2005

The good things in life

Yesterday, while my daughter was being a beautiful ballerina at dance class, my son and I set off on a detoured ride to Costco. We took the long way on the dirt roads, dodging potholes and letting our voices bounce to the bumps. Half way there, I set my XM radio to Frank's Place, Gabe and I were off on a magnificant ride through the sugar maples. Life could'nt get any better. Or could it?

Well, it did in so many ways that day. Gabe ended up falling asleep. His hand was firmly holding onto his sandwhich bag of popcorn. He cracks me up. You'd think he was holding onto a bag of gold! Anyway, we landed in civilization, ie the "mall area". You can clearly notice this by the parting of the trees and the abundance of burning bushes.

Costco, God's gift to those of us who swear that we really could use a 3lbs bag of dinosaur chicken nuggets along with Tommy Hilfiger dress pants at half the price. But, the BEST thing about Costco is by all accounts their buttered pretzel. It comes dripping in butter, all doughy and larger than a man's hand.'s SOOOO GOOD! All for a mere $1.01. So, a fountain diet soda is a must alond side it. Gabe had his almond crackers and watered down juice, and I had my cholesteral special. Life was great. We picked up a few small Christmas gifts (Cold weather =Christmas shopping) and back home through the trees with Frank we went. Glorious.

Did I mention that my son ran up to me saying "Mommy"? He did. He truly did. Will it be a one time deal? Who knows. But, I took it with a teary smile and deep warmness in my heart that only your children can give you. Yesterday was a beautiful day.