Getting Off The Pitty Pot

Ok, so here I am...a new day. I took the initiative to do something about how I was feeling. SD and I talked. We talked about how I was feeling and how he was feeling. We really are not on a different page, but I guess you could look at as if he was the softly, gently written words and I am the large,bold faced writing on a page. We appear very different, but read the same. I guess there are times when I want him to get really pissed off at the insurance companies, IEP Teams and stereotypes that follow Gabe. I want him to get as scared as I do. He just doesn't, not the way I do. He may be upset at what happened at the IEP, disappointed. But Pissed Off with a capital "P", I doubt it. At least not as vocally as I do. Sometimes that can seem as if he is not being supportive enough. He is always by my side, sometimes I just get so fired up that I don't see him standing right beside me, cheering me on.

After the talk, I realized that I will make it through this like everything else. It just freaks me out more because I am not fighting for myself this time, but my beautiful son. It's easy to take risks with yourself, but your children are a whole other ballgame where you hope to never get any strikes or outs, just home runs. The pressure to be perfect is undaunting.

I also picked up a good book which always helps to clear the mind and occupy it with other things. So, I have begun to read and have almost finished
The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls .
An interesting read about a dysfunctional family and how the children bond together and manage to stay somewhat sane through it all.

I also cut my hair. Yes, I did :o) It's in a cool bob with layers. Very swishy, very flexible, very mod. Fun. I cut it to my shoulders this morning, I am very impulsive at times, and then had a local hair place clean it up. It's amazing what a good cut can do to lift the spirit. Maybe I'll post a picture later, although I prefer to only see pics of my children, because they always look cute, great and fabulous.I'm more hit or miss!

SD and I also got a thriller to watch tonight in our theater that I created for him last birthday. Our getaway from the world. I got the movie SAW from Netflix in the mail today. Horror movies are another great way to clear the mind. I have trouble making it through most of them though.I get too scared. The last one I saw was The Grudge...Wow, that scared the daylights out of me. But, I didn't worry about Gabe's schooling after that. I was too busy listening for bumps in the night.

Thanks to Melissa H., Mamaroo, Gretchen and Mom-NOS and all my other friends through this ring and elsewhere. It is times like yesterday that just a kind word or a hello make a difference.