"So you don't want any more babies?" he looked up at me from his swivel chair.
For some reason the tone made his question sound more like,
"Are you sure you will be able to fit in your swim suit next week after all the ice cream you have been eating lately?"
Sitting up, trying to gain some sort of composure in my couture paper napkin top,
"I'm thirty-five," I say with conviction.
He says nothing.
"My son also has Autism," I state.
He still is looking at me saying nothing.
"My two beautiful children are all I ever wanted."
There. That must be the right answer. It felt right.
He clears his throat, shifts in his chair and begins...
"You haven't answered my question."
"I didn't?" Didn't I?
Silence. The large poster showing a fetus growing arms and chubby legs looks like it is snoozing on the opposite wall.
I swallow. Hard. It kinda hurt. Is it hot in here or is it me?
"No. No, I do not want any more children."
I really am ready for this. It's just everyone else is making such a big deal about it. Sometimes trusted people can sway my thinking pretty easily. Until, I snapped out of it and thought Doctor H won't be there for the late night feedings, take on the discomfort of having huge boobs and I know he would not be throwing some of his salary as a doctor our way.
"Yes. I would like the surgery done."
OK then, he begins, "A Tubal Ligation Procedure..."
So, I had it done. And OUCH! my belly button hurts! Yeah, that's what I said, my belly button! They untied it and went right in. Vicodin was a good friend of mine for a few days. SD was home and I napped and finished the latest Harry Potter book.
On the other hand, I am finally on the step of an external review at the state level for our appeal for ABA services for Gabe with our insurance company (It has been an entire year since I started appealing). "The book" as I call it is 600+ pages long and is due to be sent to the States Appeal Review in a week or so. Our appeal is worth $8,000. SD and I look at each other often and say "No pressure." Wish us luck. I'll give more details later.
So, I have spent my time reading your blogs, but am just too tired to write in my own. I know, come fall, that my blog will be full of it's ups and downs again. My summer has really been amazing this year. Less than a month and we'll be off and running again!
He says nothing.
"My son also has Autism," I state.
He still is looking at me saying nothing.
"My two beautiful children are all I ever wanted."
There. That must be the right answer. It felt right.
He clears his throat, shifts in his chair and begins...
"You haven't answered my question."
"I didn't?" Didn't I?
Silence. The large poster showing a fetus growing arms and chubby legs looks like it is snoozing on the opposite wall.
I swallow. Hard. It kinda hurt. Is it hot in here or is it me?
"No. No, I do not want any more children."
I really am ready for this. It's just everyone else is making such a big deal about it. Sometimes trusted people can sway my thinking pretty easily. Until, I snapped out of it and thought Doctor H won't be there for the late night feedings, take on the discomfort of having huge boobs and I know he would not be throwing some of his salary as a doctor our way.
"Yes. I would like the surgery done."
OK then, he begins, "A Tubal Ligation Procedure..."
So, I had it done. And OUCH! my belly button hurts! Yeah, that's what I said, my belly button! They untied it and went right in. Vicodin was a good friend of mine for a few days. SD was home and I napped and finished the latest Harry Potter book.
On the other hand, I am finally on the step of an external review at the state level for our appeal for ABA services for Gabe with our insurance company (It has been an entire year since I started appealing). "The book" as I call it is 600+ pages long and is due to be sent to the States Appeal Review in a week or so. Our appeal is worth $8,000. SD and I look at each other often and say "No pressure." Wish us luck. I'll give more details later.
So, I have spent my time reading your blogs, but am just too tired to write in my own. I know, come fall, that my blog will be full of it's ups and downs again. My summer has really been amazing this year. Less than a month and we'll be off and running again!
Boo and Gabe, my beautiful babies.
